Laundry is the one constant in a medical student's life. Sure there's studying that's pretty popular. Sleep deprivation is also almost omnipresent. But laundry - it's like the monster that is under the bed. As a non-medical student, you are like a parent trying to convince me there is no monster - but trust me... I've seen it.
Sometimes it appears like a harmless family of mice (until I realize all my socks are dirty). Other times it's a malodorous blob that I have no time to scoop up (until I realize I don't have clean scrubs for gross anatomy lab). It also takes the shape of the serpents from the Caduceus (until I go to put on another pair of jeans, only to realize they have crumbs from meals 2 weeks ago).
Whatever the shape, laundry is a tricky beast. Unless we all begin walking around in the nude, we can only wear dirty laundry so many times before the creases and stench scare away our classmates. While Old Navy, Gap, American Eagle, Abercrombie & Fitch, and other stores may revolt at the idea- perhaps forming nude societies for medical students is the best solution to prevent the constant buildup of laundry.
Or instead of a stethoscope, we should all receive LG's latest all in one washer/dryer (http://www.lgwasherdryer.com/) from a pharmaceutical company upon our acceptance to medical school.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
#4 - Health Care Reform
*Disclaimer:* This is not meant to be a political post, political opinions expressed are in no sense a representation of all medical students or even the author. It is meant to add some humor to the recent "historic health care bill" (the media has dubbed it historic within minutes of it passing, somehow I feel it is doubtful we can analyze it like other points in history so quickly)...
On a Sunday afternoon, March 21, 2010, an absolutely gorgeous day for the 2nd day of spring (at least on the East Coast), medical students were torn between a few important activities. The most important (obviously) was studying for exams, the equally necessary production of Vitamin D post-winter hibernation, the uncertain conclusion of the healthcare debate - changing our lives post-graduation [if we make it that far], and most importantly, performing CPR on our NCAA tournament bracket after Villanova and Kansas lost (there went President Obama's bracket as well...)
A surprisingly large number of congressmen and women stayed indoors as well in order to piece together a hodge-podge of ideas for what many call the greatest reform in decades. Funny how we already know it's the greatest even before it is implemented... The topic of health care reform will be missed dearly by medical students [and the media as they need to get creative for news stories] now that the debate is over.
If you ask any student, and you will probably hear that reform is necessary. Ask about this particular bill-- well, it's like asking whether potato is pronounced poe-tay-toe or poe-tah-toe and which type is healthier when turned into fries and topped off with nacho cheese and a diet soda. But then, this could be the next best thing since anesthesia was incorporated into surgeries...
On a Sunday afternoon, March 21, 2010, an absolutely gorgeous day for the 2nd day of spring (at least on the East Coast), medical students were torn between a few important activities. The most important (obviously) was studying for exams, the equally necessary production of Vitamin D post-winter hibernation, the uncertain conclusion of the healthcare debate - changing our lives post-graduation [if we make it that far], and most importantly, performing CPR on our NCAA tournament bracket after Villanova and Kansas lost (there went President Obama's bracket as well...)
A surprisingly large number of congressmen and women stayed indoors as well in order to piece together a hodge-podge of ideas for what many call the greatest reform in decades. Funny how we already know it's the greatest even before it is implemented... The topic of health care reform will be missed dearly by medical students [and the media as they need to get creative for news stories] now that the debate is over.
If you ask any student, and you will probably hear that reform is necessary. Ask about this particular bill-- well, it's like asking whether potato is pronounced poe-tay-toe or poe-tah-toe and which type is healthier when turned into fries and topped off with nacho cheese and a diet soda. But then, this could be the next best thing since anesthesia was incorporated into surgeries...
Saturday, March 13, 2010
#3 - Debt
The cost of medical school is only a drop in the bucket really. Compared to 4 years of undergraduate work and possibly a post-bacc program, tuition in medical school is surprisingly inexpensive.
We apply for loans, fill out the FAFSA, get loan counseling, all because we're just too cheap to pay for our own medical education. We figure we've paid for all this school already, why pay for the next 4? As a student, we have no obligation to be productive members of society, it's about time the government and banks give us something! They owe us that much.
Go to an in-state school, and it's only 21,000/year, private school its less than 38,000/year (averages according to US News on March 26, 2008)- pennies! In the end, we will all become dermatologists, gastroenterologists, and opthamologists who average 195,000, 265,000, and 280,000 a year for a starting salary right? And those are just the lowest specialties, everybody else (especially primary care physicians) make way more, two or three times the amount! [Jealous yet?]
But get real, if you're after the money and think becoming a physician is the best way, you're right. It all goes away from you. You will graduate an average debt of 156,456; 79% of students with more than 100,000, 58% with over 150,000 worth of debt (according to the AAMC). You will have malpractice insurance premiums in some states and specialties of over 150,000 a year. Few people become dermatologists, gastroenterologists, and opthamologists. Primary care physicians are paid much less. You will finally graduate medical school around your 28th birthday, finish your residency at a prime age of 31 or higher.
And hey, when you make (and give away) the big bucks, you can find the one, a home, and maybe start a family (assuming your body can still produce sperm & ova). Your debt will hopefully decrease by 50% but if you inbreed within the physician race... Well, then it might double...
Sources:
US News
AAMC Student Debt
We apply for loans, fill out the FAFSA, get loan counseling, all because we're just too cheap to pay for our own medical education. We figure we've paid for all this school already, why pay for the next 4? As a student, we have no obligation to be productive members of society, it's about time the government and banks give us something! They owe us that much.
Go to an in-state school, and it's only 21,000/year, private school its less than 38,000/year (averages according to US News on March 26, 2008)- pennies! In the end, we will all become dermatologists, gastroenterologists, and opthamologists who average 195,000, 265,000, and 280,000 a year for a starting salary right? And those are just the lowest specialties, everybody else (especially primary care physicians) make way more, two or three times the amount! [Jealous yet?]
But get real, if you're after the money and think becoming a physician is the best way, you're right. It all goes away from you. You will graduate an average debt of 156,456; 79% of students with more than 100,000, 58% with over 150,000 worth of debt (according to the AAMC). You will have malpractice insurance premiums in some states and specialties of over 150,000 a year. Few people become dermatologists, gastroenterologists, and opthamologists. Primary care physicians are paid much less. You will finally graduate medical school around your 28th birthday, finish your residency at a prime age of 31 or higher.
And hey, when you make (and give away) the big bucks, you can find the one, a home, and maybe start a family (assuming your body can still produce sperm & ova). Your debt will hopefully decrease by 50% but if you inbreed within the physician race... Well, then it might double...
Sources:
US News
AAMC Student Debt
Monday, February 15, 2010
#2 - Sleep
Sleep is the recreational drug of choice for medical students. The amygdala determines it is a positive stimulus and craves more as it is metabolized to its byproducts. Students all cope in different ways - some binge, others become daily users.
The professors are no doubt the bosses in the cartel. They empower us with knowledge about sleep- describing in depth the 5 different stages, the neuronal action potentials, and the source of sleep spindles and delta waves from pacemaker cells. The recipe is quick - 90 minutes/cycle, melatonin to naturally speed it up, or using some smuggled Ambien from Sanofi-aventis will do the trick.
As good foot soldiers, we are not supposed to actually partake in the final product, but only distribute as ordered. I am sure some of us sneak in a few without paying, perhaps that explains the disappearance of colleagues as the years go on. However, when we do sneak it in, we cannot even enjoy the pure product.
Our brains toss and turn trying to analyze the questions on the exam while the insensitive neighbors are watching TV, playing loud music, and exercising on their treadmills with a rhythmic thump. Finally, just as consciousness slips away, the phone rings or the pager buzzes, and the high instantly disappears. Maybe, just maybe, one day, we too can become the heads of a cartel, mixing our own formula, spreading the drug one prescription at a time.
The professors are no doubt the bosses in the cartel. They empower us with knowledge about sleep- describing in depth the 5 different stages, the neuronal action potentials, and the source of sleep spindles and delta waves from pacemaker cells. The recipe is quick - 90 minutes/cycle, melatonin to naturally speed it up, or using some smuggled Ambien from Sanofi-aventis will do the trick.
As good foot soldiers, we are not supposed to actually partake in the final product, but only distribute as ordered. I am sure some of us sneak in a few without paying, perhaps that explains the disappearance of colleagues as the years go on. However, when we do sneak it in, we cannot even enjoy the pure product.
Our brains toss and turn trying to analyze the questions on the exam while the insensitive neighbors are watching TV, playing loud music, and exercising on their treadmills with a rhythmic thump. Finally, just as consciousness slips away, the phone rings or the pager buzzes, and the high instantly disappears. Maybe, just maybe, one day, we too can become the heads of a cartel, mixing our own formula, spreading the drug one prescription at a time.
Monday, January 18, 2010
#1 - Free Food
Perhaps this topic is not simply limited to medical students, but medical students being the center of this blog... We are obviously the only individuals that matter.
The 2 words combined "free" and "food" are enough to perk the ears of any medical student. It is not only the cost of tuition that would cause trembling in any humble homo sapiens ($40,000 in one year for only tuition?!?). Classrooms with 3 folding chairs as a bed and a backpack for a pillow suffice for our abode, not to mention there is no need to pay for heating, electricity, water, or cleaning.
However, there is no substitute for the glucose required for brain function. Within the first week of biochemistry, we learn that the conversion of fuel stores from sources other than fats (aka the Freshman 15 despite countless hours in the gym before a spring break trip to the Bahamas) is an inefficient process of obtaining glucose for metabolism (Joules for creation < Joules provided). The constant ingestion of oral glucose, coffee, Red Bull, Jolt, Vault, Monster, and 5 hour energy drinks will no doubt hold us through the first exam.
After the first year, we definitely will have experienced the symptoms of Kwashiorkor (a disease due to the lack of protein in our diet) and may even become the poster adult of "Click to Give" or "Feed My Starving Children". Without free food, there would be no doubt a surplus of cadavers for next year's class.
So a word to the wise: If you ever need to make an announcement to medical students, begin with "free food" and you will have everybody's attention. All of a sudden, we will all have an interest in medical genetics, otolaryngology, or colorectal surgery residencies. Make it a buffet or something ethnic (Chinese always appreciated) and you will have the entire student body (plus friends and significant others) in attendance.
A meeting without free food? Unless you happen to have guaranteed positions for top residencies to all in attendance- you will have a weak showing. It is in medical school that free food becomes the contemporary manna.
It doesn't matter if it's pizza that has been sitting there for a few days and has a new source of fiber (mold), or leftovers from an administrators' meeting that has thermodynamically equilibrated with room temperature (they obviously have no problem in catering meals off our tuition), or a half-eaten bag of chips (that one student can't finish because it's all he's eaten in the past week).
Medical students will never turn down free food. Unless- it involves a long meeting right before an exam, but even then, there's no reason not to walk in for free food and walk out when we're done eating.
The 2 words combined "free" and "food" are enough to perk the ears of any medical student. It is not only the cost of tuition that would cause trembling in any humble homo sapiens ($40,000 in one year for only tuition?!?). Classrooms with 3 folding chairs as a bed and a backpack for a pillow suffice for our abode, not to mention there is no need to pay for heating, electricity, water, or cleaning.
However, there is no substitute for the glucose required for brain function. Within the first week of biochemistry, we learn that the conversion of fuel stores from sources other than fats (aka the Freshman 15 despite countless hours in the gym before a spring break trip to the Bahamas) is an inefficient process of obtaining glucose for metabolism (Joules for creation < Joules provided). The constant ingestion of oral glucose, coffee, Red Bull, Jolt, Vault, Monster, and 5 hour energy drinks will no doubt hold us through the first exam.
After the first year, we definitely will have experienced the symptoms of Kwashiorkor (a disease due to the lack of protein in our diet) and may even become the poster adult of "Click to Give" or "Feed My Starving Children". Without free food, there would be no doubt a surplus of cadavers for next year's class.
So a word to the wise: If you ever need to make an announcement to medical students, begin with "free food" and you will have everybody's attention. All of a sudden, we will all have an interest in medical genetics, otolaryngology, or colorectal surgery residencies. Make it a buffet or something ethnic (Chinese always appreciated) and you will have the entire student body (plus friends and significant others) in attendance.
A meeting without free food? Unless you happen to have guaranteed positions for top residencies to all in attendance- you will have a weak showing. It is in medical school that free food becomes the contemporary manna.
It doesn't matter if it's pizza that has been sitting there for a few days and has a new source of fiber (mold), or leftovers from an administrators' meeting that has thermodynamically equilibrated with room temperature (they obviously have no problem in catering meals off our tuition), or a half-eaten bag of chips (that one student can't finish because it's all he's eaten in the past week).
Medical students will never turn down free food. Unless- it involves a long meeting right before an exam, but even then, there's no reason not to walk in for free food and walk out when we're done eating.
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